Hewwwooooooo :3 It's been a hot minute hasn't it? Which means I've got a good amount to say. Whew currently steeling myself. I'm gonna split my updates into Bristol and then school actually. Just so this isn't obsecenly long. As you may remember in my last update I said I was going to Bristol with my new friend Amna! Well, the trip went great it was a lot of fun. The ride there was gorgeous (well at least the part I saw, I was asleep for most of it). It's funny what rural means in England versus what it means in the US. Because England is so small it's like you could be in a "rural" area and be like 20 minutes outside of a big city. Weird. It's so absurdly green here, like the grass is this vivid dark green. It looks refreshing. It probably tastes like ice.
We got there a couple hours earlier than we could check into the hostel so we walked around a bit and went to this famousish barbeque place's truck called Low and Slow and holy mama it was GOOD! And cheap too? I got pulled pork and fries and mac and cheese and a salad (lettuce) for I think 8 pounds, and I had leftovers that I ate for dinner. It was amazeballs, if you are ever in Bristol you should totally go there it was a 10/10.
Scrumptious
After eating we walked around some more and seriously it is so very strange how there are just these amazing gorgeous buildings everywhere. They are so old and they are just there, randomly. No hullabaloo about it. This trip specifically made me really think, although I've been having these thoughts since getting to London, about buildings and intention and artistry in arcitecture; the purpose behind design. It worries me the ticking clock on every building I see, especially an inconsquential chapel on a random street. When I first got to London I checked out the book Middlesex as some may remember and there is a line that stuck out to me as I was reading: "Planning is for the world's great cities, for Paris, London, and Rome, for cities dedicated, at some level, to culture. Detroit, on the other hand, was an American city and therefore dedicated to money, and so design had given way to expediency." London is so gorgeous and walkable and friendly, Bristol is as well, but I am afraid that these cities as well have lost their dedication to culture and now only create for money. On the bus ride to Bristol I passed by old elegant buildings next to horrific office buildings, and all the new construction in which the buildings have no soul. I wrote this in my notes app to try and get out how I was feeling, the dread in my stomach:
The old buildings in london are more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. And the new ones are so ugly. It's an affront to culture really. Spit in the face of what humans are capable of. Seeing these disgusting, boring office buildings right next to the most gorgeous chapel you've ever seen makes me want to chain myself to their machinery and say no you can't! There must be another way! If they want to continue to make their ugly buildings then they will have to go through my body. It distresses me. The ugly buildings multiple while the old ones slowly decay and crumble away. We are at a deficit. One day will at all be ugly buildings and no beautiful ones left behind? How fast do the elements erode brick? How fast do we destroy, sell chunks off, rip things up to make expensive apartment complexes and ominous office buildings where it is unclear what anyone really does there, but you see the cubicles from their giant windows and people muddle about within them? What happens when we've ripped up everything that makes a city worth living in? I assume that one day after we've killed half the population and the nations are rebuilding from total war, they will begin to make beautiful buildings again. After a while. How far forward do we have to go to make cities and buildings about the culture again? And how far back will it set us? Does no one else feel how important the personality and essence of a building is? Each thing that humans make is imbued with purpose and intent. And then after that the building's energy, per say, is dictated by the way that we talk about it and treat it. What it becomes to us. Sentient architecture can only occur with real intent. Do you want to fill our world with apartment complexes and office buildings that capture nothing but dull thoughts and feelings? They become nothing. Just brick. The memories made within them overruled by its insignificance as a building. How tragic. It all devastates me. Every old beautiful piece of architecture I see is tainted by a sour feeling. A desire for buildings like this to be made now. I have seen so few made recently that inspired me. Of course they are out there, but they are novel. The exception to the rule. The people of the world deserve so much more. Buildings built for culture not money. Your neighborhood should have an ornate chapel at it's center. I can only hope that we return to our lust for life soon.
It's a ramble that is probably not as thought out as it could be, but I felt this horrible feeling of dread and grief for everything we have lost and everything we deserve. Gosh, I mean humans deserve so much more than what we have been creating these days. Especially Americans. As I walked around the streets of Bristol, remarking to Amna about the strangeness of these old buildings just being here with a hip coffee shop on thier ground level, I thought about the newness of US cities and towns and how we never stood a chance. European cities are so walkable so hurrah hurrah, but I am worried they are only this way because they are so old, not because the people are so different and enlightened. Maybe I am uninformed and I am totally wrong, I wish someone would prove me wrong! Because I am scared about how many times property has to change hands before it is torn down. Sigh, those are some kind of depressing thoughts for you to chew on I guess. I guess it is a feeling of helplessness.
But no matter! I still had fun so don't worry. We checked out a charity shop and I get a sweater for 3 pounds so that was nice, I was in need of a new sweater. Something to note about Bristol is that it is mega hip. Like I thought it was pretty funny that everyone walking around had cool jeans on. It was all cool jeans; baggy jeans, flare jeans, crazy embroidered jeans, vintage colors. Seriously they've got a cool jeans supplier in Bristol somewhere I can not overstate how many fancy jeans there were. There were also expensive vintage clothing stores on every street corner so it's obviously a booming buisness. I did not go into any of them because I know my place in life. I shall never find anything at a fancy vintage store that will be even remotely within my budget. Best not to try at all. But in another life I could've been cool jeans upped like those losers. Me and Amna decided that Bristol was sort of the Portland of England. It's only "cool" fashionable people. But also neither of us have been to Portland so this compairison is purely based on assumption. But I have added Bristol to my list of places where if "cool" person says they are from there I make a mental note in my mind to knock them down at least 2 pegs because they have had an unfair advantage over all of us and their outwardly coolness should be taken with a grain of salt. Maybe this makes me judgemental, but I am right. Thems are just the facts.
One of the places we went while waiting to go to the hostel was this big ruined building and turns out it was bombed during The Blitz in WWII, which really threw me for a loop. I think in the US the world wars can feel abstract, like I know that they happened and that people died and that it was horrible, but nothing was bombed in the US you know. So seeing this physical evidence of WWII was kind of crazy. Made me realize how I had never seen anything like it before.
When we arrive at the hostel we are given bed sheets (I almost spelled that like "sheetz" sigh my beloved I miss you) and shown to our room. We get first pick of the beds. I let Amna decide if she wants top or bottom bunk and she decides top which I am silently relieved for because everyone knows bottom bunk is the better bunk. Top bunk is a novelty that dies when you want to charge your phone or have a sip of water in the night. We then decide to go to a tower which you can climb to the top of. I thouroughly enjoy this tower, it is one of my highlights of the trip. The stairs were so steep and skinny we had to pass by some people when we were going up and for a second there I really thought I might die. Loose your balance and it's all over on those curling steps. The Cabot tower was built in 1897, which is the same year my dorm at Mount Holyoke was built. If you were wondering. Anywho some duke laid the first stone or something, it said so on the plaque at the bottom. After some research I found out that the tower was built to commemerate John Cabot's journey to somewhere (I already forgot what I just google searched), but at the time of visiting I did not know what this tower was for and was intrigued by what it's purpose could be. Towers are a funny thing if they are not for practical use, like a lookout or something. I find it delightful that humans enjoy making tall building that just go up and not around. And as a commemeration my point still stands. One can only wish that someday someone will build a tall skinny tower in your honor which people can walk up and enjoy the view. The view was gorgeous. You could see all of Bristol. Specifically those little colored townhouses which appear on the google images page for Bristol. I enjoyed seeing them. We stayed on top of the tower for a while. It was windy and cold up there. Delicious. Kids were coming home from school and we could hear their conversations from below.
Tower we climbed
views
top of tower
We went down the tower and to a supposedly haunted pub, so Amna tells me. I have still not looked up this pub and the real story behind its haunted status,they did not advertise it in the pub, no mention of said hauntedness anywhere. Which is strange because you think they would want to capatilize on that up front. Amna has little to offer me in terms of information about the story. She tells me "some little boy died here I think, I dunno." So there. The pub doesn't really have a haunted vibe besides it being old, but their apple pear cider is delicious and I, of course, marvel at the way they don't even card me. Europe!!! We go to the upstairs area which is totally empty. Probably because it is 5 O'clock, which means we just barely made it into the acceptable time frame to drink. We talk and watch as the seats around us fill and we discuss what we will do next. We leave the pub after one cider each (totally respectable thnak you very much!) and we attempt to check out this giant library. Unfortunatley this library is closed to non-Bristol university students. Bleh. But we walk all around campus before we realize this. We even end up in the medical library on campus, which is not cool looking and is open to the public hmph.
haunted pub
ermmm
Eventually we make our way back to the hostel and decide to go to bed early so that we can have the whole day to explore tomorrow...is what preferably would have happened, but unfortunately given that the hostel is on top of a bar it is SO LOUD all night long. This makes it kind of hard to sleep as you might imagine and also I have been on a going to sleep at 2am sort of vibe so early bed time at 10pm was never really gonna happen. Also, funny occurance, at around 11pm a guy is shown into our room by one of the staff which is strange because it was a girl only room, but I just kinda let it slide because I have fews cares in the world. But one of the girls in the room is like errrmmm are you sure you are in the right place because this is the all female dorm and he's like "uhhhh I was just shown in here derppp" Which is a funny response because if I were him I would've been like omg for real they just told me to go in here but I'll go ask them sorry! This dude had no care in the world and he went right to sleep. Men amiright? That girl went down to the front to ask because she is a standup kind of gal, and one of the staff comes up and is like "Thomas Thomas come on you gotta go sorry!" and then they sent him to the correct room. Poor Thomas he just wanted to get a good night's sleep. Smh. Personally, I toss and turn and read about Neil Gaimen's insane sexual assualt allegations which deeply upsets me. Not all men they say. Sigh, we are constantly dissapointed. PROVE US WRONG. These kinds of things always cause complicated debates about the ethics behind seperating the art from the artist. I won't say much about it here, because my feelings on the matter are complicated but I am dissapointed by both far ends of the spectrum and it's always more complicated than people thiink. One day I will have fleshed out thoughts on the matter that I will feel confident in. Screw that guy though, evil.
Predicatably, we get up later than intended but once we are off we are off to go find food, which is a failure because we go to this bad overpriced falafal place. The food is mid and we probably should have been tipped off by the fact that it was some random white guy making the food. It's hard when you are surrounded by expensive hip cafes on all sides. We then embark on a long walk to the Bristol bridge. Along the way we stop at the Bristol art and science museum which is nice, although museums make me a bit lethargic by the end. An inevitable result. But I see some great art, specfically a favorite painting of mine, which I had no idea was at this museum so that was cool.
I love this painting. It's just so romantic.
A beautiful Jesus
In the ancient Egypt exhibit (questionable...are these stolen artifacts Britian? Don't lie to me...) someone had hacked into the informational computer to log in to instagram. I have no idea how they did it because there was no way to close out of the interactive informational page, but it made me laugh.
Was a big fan of this one
Cemetery we walked through
Victoria
Apparently there are tunnels under the Bristol bridge. We did not reach these tunnels, but they are fun to think about. We do the walk across the bridge. It's a pretty nice bridge. I don't really think much of bridges, but I guess they are quite impressive. It's a sweet suspension bridge built in 1831. Suspension bridges are definetly one of the best kinds of bridges along with those really steep Japanese ones and any sort of stone bridge with fancy embellishments. I am sure there are bridge conisieurs out there who could tell me why bridges are so cool or impressive. I hope to meet one oneday. On the other side of the bridge are neighborhoods and a visitors center which does not have any cool brochures for me to put on my wall. Disappointing.
cool
Our next destination to somewhere to eat and after a quick reddit search I find Chili Daddy. Shout out Chili Daddy. I would say reddit is one of the most reliable places for cheap food recommendations, it's truly the power of the people. One thing I also appreciated about my travel partner Amna is that she was just as invested in saving money as I was. Nothing worse than going on a trip with someone who can throw money around and expects you to do the same. We were successful penny-pinchers on this trip. Chili Daddy is a Szechuan-style Chinese resturant and it is delishhhhhh. I had never had Szechuan Chinese food before so that was exciting and it was the huge bowl of noodles for 8 pounds it was glorious. I think food is just absurdly expensive in the states because I swear it would have been at least 12 bucks in the states for ho wmuch food it was. What is up with the states?? I get the pork hot pot noodles and we are happy campers. There is even extra to take home yum. It's such a cute resturant too, 10/10 go there if you are in Bristol. On the way back we stop by Tescos to get some cheap alcohol (sorry family). DO NOT GET THE TESCO BRAND VODKA FOR 6.80. Like you can probably guess, it is nasty, not safe for ingestion it tastes like industrial cleaner and it is probably just mouth wash. But we drink it back at the hostel and dance at the bar downstairs, and it's a good time. I'd like to point out that I am wearing jeans, a polo shirt, a flannel, and my hair is up in a pony tail with a headband. Oh man lesbian alert, lesbian alert!! Seriously I was not fooling anyone lol, first night out in England and I've decided to look like a total lezbo. Hehe all according to plan.
sooooo good
At some point we go back up to our room and a girl with a shaved head is sitting on a chair in there. We strike up a conversation when she says oh are you guys going to sleep I can leave if you want, this is just one of the few places it's warm. She doesn't have a british accent she is from Romania we learn. We have a long conversation with her about traveling and rising prices and life and such. She is taking a flight to Italy at 3am today to work there for a while, but she doesn't have much of a plan. She's 27 I think? and she's been traveling for a while all over europe and even to the states on a little money that she makes working places, but now that she is out of money she is going to Italy for this job she's applied for. Her name is Mariam and I soak in everything she says, trying to catalogue and commit to memory everything she says despite me being a bit drunk, because talkin to this girl about life and such I have this all-consuming feeling that the world is so large and contains multitudes (ha), people and countries and lives I can't even fathom. And for the first time in my life I really am just another person in the world and the states doesn't feel like the center of the universe, like I'm just another girl from a place just like everyone else. I guess you think you understand how big the world is, but I didn't realize how little I really knew until talking to Mariam. I really felt like we weren't all that different, that we were the same. I guess the way I had been thinking was that there were Americans and then there was everyone else and they were all other from me. I knew the logistics of it all, I knew the US was just like everywhere else but it's impossible to really get past the bubble of America even when you leave, to really believe that you are just like everyone else. But I felt it then. I felt like the possiblities were endless in life, that you could, should be able to go anywhere. Amna got Mariam's number and said if ever needed a place to stay in London until June, she could call her. We stay and talk to her until she has to leave for the airport to catch her flight. It was really something special. Staying at the hostel was that worldview expansion that everyone writes about wanting on the request form to study abroad. There was a girl from Australia in our room and so many random people walking around the halls. It felt revolutionary to realize that the US was just another place. Cool, I'll remember my conversation with Mariam for a lonnnnggg time and I hope to have that feeling often here. Meet new people and stuff.
I left early that morning (as in 9:30 lolza). The bus station was right next to the hostel but I have a nice old man to thank for me getting there without any issues. He was running and saw me look down at my phone with a suitcase in hand and said ello are you looking for something? Old people love to tell you where things are, which I support. My guardian angels. On the bus ride back I slept and listened to Pervert by Ethel Cain. My favorite song was Vacillator. So good I love how slow it is and the lyrics are grogeous it's right up my alley. I love slow music these days like real drawn out and long. "You won't lose me to thunder or lightning, but you could to crowded rooms" I feel like this often.
And so my Bristol trip ended and I went home and read a bunch of Northanger Abbey for class. It was cool. I figure I'll stop labeling these by days and instead just have titles because I can't do them everyday anymore and keeping track of the days gets confusing. I want to write an update at least once every week. I'm gonna write another later today about school and such :D See ya